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[Tue - 11.03.09 @ 12:25am] |
Two people told me today that I look like Audrey Hepburn. That's not the first time I've gotten it, and I take it as a compliment.
But the thing is, I really am not a fan of old movies. I don't know why, I just don't enjoy them.
And so in a way, I feel a bit hypocritical in feeling flattered. I really know nothing about her and I couldn't even get myself to sit through one of her films.
Granted, it's not like anyone said I sound like her or that act like her or anything like that. All I need to know about her in order to genuinely receive the compliment is to know what she looks like.
But still. I feel slightly foolish for being so gracious of their acknowledgement, for some reason.
Anyhoo.
Random blurb.
Bedtime.
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[Mon - 10.26.09 @ 10:40pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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I was eleven years old when my father passed away. My grandma always tells me this story of how she was crying and I approached her and said, "Don't worry Grandma, daddy's in Heaven teaching the angels how to sail." She tells me how it brought her so much comfort and joy, and how that moment ministered to her breaking heart. The funny thing is that I don't recall that whatsoever. Granted I was eleven, I was a little girl, but I wasn't a small child; It's not like I was too young to recall profound moments. I remember every detail surrounding my father's passing. But I have absolutely no recollection of those particular words, at all.
( Read on... )
I've recently been so amazed at the people that have been coming into my life. They've all been such divine appointments, whether put here for me to minister to, or be ministered to by them, or both at the same time. (Some of you are reading this, and you know who you are :-) ) As I look back on the past few years, I am so thankful to see that the Lord was just building a storehouse of wisdom in me to give to others so they do not have to endure the trek alone, like I did. All the pain, the suffering, the doubt, the depression, the nights of crying myself to sleep, the days of walking in fear of what was going to happen next...none of it was in vain, and I cannot even express how grateful and privileged I am to be able to help someone get through it by taking a short cut I had to learn by taking the long way.
He told me back then that it would be worth it. I couldn't see it at the time, but He was right the whole time. Through my tears, my fits of anger, my frustration, by feelings of utter defeat. He was right through all of it. And I would not trade a second of it for anything in the world.
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| There is something in the air... |
[Sun - 10.18.09 @ 12:53pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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the sound of palm fronds waving around |
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I woke up this morning inhaling a huge rush of crisp air streaming in through my window. With it, I was surprised to find myself bombarded with the emotions that accompany this weather. I don't know how to fully explain what happens inside of me, but it's as if the more apparent the change of season is, the more I reawaken to that contemplative, nostalgic, explorative part of myself that had been hidden away during the excited expectancy of Spring and the extravagant passion of Summer.
Now, it is Autumn, and I cannot help but feel this way every single year when this season comes upon South Florida with a sudden ferocity of temperature drop.
This is the season that every year, I find myself internally preparing for something immense to come about, although ignorant to what it might be. This is the season that preceded the month in which I first met Ian, the month in which I first met the Lord. This is the season in which I first lost Ian, and first rediscovered the Lord. This is the season in which he returned to me, and the season in which I truly understood what it meant to see God as my stronghold, my strong and mighty tower, my safe place.
The cold wind forces me to bundle up and huddle closer to myself, and strange as it may seem I see that it forces me to do the same, internally. I find that this quiet contemplation of self and the world around me is much like hibernation, a storing and reviewing of everything that has been gathered in the warmer seasons, a dwelling in and soaking up of all that I've attained throughout the year, so when the Spring comes again, new life can be born from within myself. I can become a new creation in Christ yet again, because of how I've allowed His Spirit to nourish and sustain, teach and repair me in the secret place that the frigidity of nature has forced me to remain in.
Perhaps that is part of the beauty that I find in this time, that even God's very creation is urging His beloved bride to remain close to Him, engulfed in His protective arms, shrouded in His robes of safety and warmth.
It is in this season that I find myself hidden in intimacy with Him, unlike any other time of year, that I come to know Him so much deeper because I am always directed to His heart, even by the very wind.
Wow. What a simple, yet profound revelation: Not just God Himself, but even His creation passionately and unrelentingly desire humanity to enter in to oneness with the Creator.
Wow.
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| If we stray from the bliss, the Kingdom we will miss... |
[Wed - 10.14.09 @ 11:21pm] |
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music |
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Paramore... :) |
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"God wants a people addicted to His pleasure--a people who serve Him for no other reason than the delight they take in Him. This is the very heart of true worship. It is not self-centered. It is putting God at the very center of self so that self cannot possibly be satisfied without Him."
"As we become addicted to Heaven, it spills out of us--over our thresholds and into the streets."
-John Crowder's "The Ecstasy of Loving God." This book is off the chain.
I've been contemplating maybe scanning pages of my paper journal and putting the pictures up on livejournal for you to read instead of just typing about my life. Might be kind of interesting...you know, a more intimate reading experience for you.
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[Sun - 09.13.09 @ 11:12pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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"It's a new season, it's a new day...a fresh anointing is coming my way..."
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[Sat - 08.29.09 @ 1:42pm] |
Work is so boring, but I've got a lot to look forward to...
I'm going to the Hillsong United concert tonight, wooooo!!!!
FINALLY! They're in Miami and I'm actually able to go. I cannot wait.
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[Tue - 08.18.09 @ 3:26am] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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AHHHH!!!!!!! They're gonna be in Miami August 29th!
Maybe this time it'll work out and I'll be able to go?
This always gives me goosebumps...
PLEASE LORD, let me be able to go this time!
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